_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
/ Readers Ask:                                                                                        \
|                                                                                                     |
| Is it possible to kill a vampire with a gun?                                                        |
|                                                                                                     |
| Vampires are a source of great irritation to the average homeowner and it is usually to one's       |
| advantage to remove these pests as rapidly as possible. If a professional exterminater specializing |
| in the undead is unavailable, it is possible to handle the situation with common household items.   |
| However, much of the common folklore of vanquishing the undead needs clarifying. First, driving a   |
| sharpened Louisville Slugger through a vampire's heart will NOT kill it. Since it's not quite       |
| alive, why would the heart be any different than puncturing it in the, for example, left buttock?   |
| Stake driving should be avoided at any cost since its effect will be to terribly annoy the vampire, |
| and the last thing you want on your hands is an irate Lord of Darkness. Handguns are also a         |
| definite no-no. Common sense indicates that it requires more to defeat an incarnation of evil than  |
| hurling lumps of lead or silver through its body. One time-honored method is to expose the vampire  |
| to the sun, sever its head (any power saw should be sufficient), fill its mouth with holy wafers    |
| (vanilla wafers over which the Lord's prayer has been read will do in a pinch), immerse the head in |
| an urn filled with holy water, place the urn in consecrated lands and bury the rest of the body     |
| underneath a crossroad (i.e. the intersection of Broad & Chestnut). Sure, it's a lot of work. But   |
\ you'll never have to worry about those damn bats pestering the neighbors again.                     /
 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
         \
          \
            ^__^ 
    _______/(**)
/\/(       /(__)
   | W----|| |~|
   ||     || |~|  ~~
             |~|  ~
             |_| o
             |#|/
            _+#+_

Updated every 15s